People Who Need to Stop Coming to the Library

I’ve worked at a public library for the past two years and I love it. It’s the best job I have ever had. That’s not saying much though. The only other job I have worked is at McDonald’s. Library wins by a landslide.

I should totally do a post about my time at McDonald’s. 

I specifically work in the children’s room, though I occasionally help out in other departments as needed. My main job is doing all the bulletin boards and theme board artwork. It’s fun, I get to draw all day. Besides doing that, I also help patrons, shelve books, and read the shelves (the children’s room is the black hole of books so we constantly have to read the shelves to make sure books are in the right place). My least favorite part of the job is dealing with nasty patrons. Go figure, no one likes that. For your entertainment and as a PSA, I have compiled a list of the worst people who come to the library.

  1. People who either can’t or won’t control their children. I can think of a few families who come in and give me anxiety. Seriously, control your kids. Don’t let them pull books off the shelves and don’t just put them back wherever you see fit or tell your kid to go put it back. I’m telling you now, your kid has no idea where they got the book from. They go in specific places so we can find them later!
  2. Kids who really like the automatic hand sanitize dispenser. The sound of the auto hand sanitizer will also give me anxiety. Parents, don’t let your kids get a giant blob of hand sanitizer. All they do is clap it into their hands and make a mess.
  3. People who don’t get the idea of due dates. Missing the due date is okay (we charge you fines), but still bring back the book! Seriously. When you owe $128 in fines your book has been out for awhile. Bring it back so others can check it out!
  4. People who don’t get the idea of fines. Pay your fines people. Don’t owe $500 because you didn’t return your books and movies. And don’t expect to be able to check out 70 books when you do have a $500 dollar fine. There was a lady who tried this, no joke.
  5. Parents who treat us as a day care. The library is not a day care. It is a place to read books and do homework when you are kicked out of the house for the afternoon. I understand we have a “children’s room”, but that does not mean we are going to entertain and babysit your kids.
  6. Kids who think it is funny to lock the bathroom stall doors then crawl out. It’s not funny. Its gross. We have to find a yardstick and jimmy the latch open or crawl on the bathroom floor to unlock it.
  7. People who like to listen to music without earphones. You are an asshole if you do this. No one wants to listen to your crap music. One guy came in with his IPod blaring and singing at the top of his lungs. He finally left after one of the other librarians told him to stop.
  8. People who think you can find the book they are looking for based on a description of its cover. No. It’s blue and rectangular doesn’t help me at all.
  9. People who can’t read blatantly obvious signs. Seriously. The sign says “Please present library card and receive clipboard before using computer”. This is on every computer background with a giant, in your face, stop sign. The parents don’t miss it, they ignore it, and it pisses me off cause I have to be the bad guy and tell the kid no unless they give me a library card.
  10. People who get pissed at us after we pick up the books they left out a half an hour ago. Don’t leave for thirty minutes and expect huge the pile of books you left on the table to still be there. We have programs, we need those tables, and those books need to go back on the shelf.
  11. People who get pissed at us when we don’t know where an obscure book is located. We have a lot of books in our department. While I can point out where the Disney, Eric Carle, and Dr. Seuss books are, I don’t know where every single book we got is, and more often than not, that book is not where it is suppose to be. So I have to look for it asshole. It does not take me that long to search for it on our catalog to see if it even available and on the shelf so I don’t waste mine or your time looking for it in the shelves.
  12. People who just stand in front of the desk like they need something but really don’t. When you hover around our desk we assume you need something. So we ask if we can help you. Don’t give us a dirty look for doing our job and “bothering” you.
  13. Greedy kids. We have a sticker box and kids are more than welcome to ask us for a sticker. But since their parents don’t control them, they ask if they can get one for their sister, brother, mom, dad, and the family dog. I have to grit my teeth and really try hard not yell at them.
  14. People who check out ALL THE BOOKS. We say we have unlimited book checkouts, that is not a challenge. You can checkout 70 books. That doesn’t mean you should. You have 2 weeks with 1 renewal for those books before you have to bring them in again. Do you really think that is enough time to read all those? I don’t think so.

Well. This was a lot easier to write than I thought it would be. Turns out, people piss me off more than I thought. Haha… *awkwardly scratches head

Seriously people. Be nice to librarians. If it weren’t for us you would have never found that book you needed as a print source for you high school essay.

DFTBA and feel free to add your two cents in the comments.



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